The song “How Do I Feel?” by Elle Belle is an exploration of self-understanding, fear, emotional vulnerability, uncertainty, and existential dejection. It revolves around the protagonist’s introspection, trying to comprehend their own feelings and emotional state. It delineates about fear and anxiety that doesn’t necessarily stem from an imminent danger but the possibility of a potential threat, illustrating the protagonist’s constant state of panic and anxiety.
Further highlighting the theme of emotional pain, the song subtly describes how the protagonist’s suffering is invisible – it’s severe but not physical. It might not leave visual scars but mental and emotional ones, contributing to the person’s emotional turmoil. The song employs the art of ambiguity to hint at the protagonist’s concealed struggles, which indicates the often hidden nature of mental pain.
The narrative brings forth the vulnerability, rather than the denial, of not comprehending one’s own feelings, showing how the protagonist’s emotions swing unpredictably. The metaphor of a “rusty playground set” intervenes to clarify the emotional instability and the inherent danger it possesses. It also leans towards the theme of growing up, the decay of time and the damages it may entail.
One of the recurring themes is the sensation of emotional numbness, which entails the idea of feeling “dead inside”. This denotes a sense of desolation, depersonalization, and existential dread that the protagonist is grappling with.
However, intertwined with the distressing narrative is also a musing on dreams and reality, highlighting an essential ambiguity of human perception. This segment speaks volumes about the existential confusion and the turmoil between heart and mind that the protagonist experiences.
Focusing on existential themes, the song also contemplates the inevitability of the sun not rising someday, reflecting on mortality and suggesting the protagonist’s fixation on such ideas. This fixation seems to be fostering a sense of worry and fear within them.
In conclusion, “How Do I Feel?” is a song that provides a candid discourse about mental health struggles, particularly anxiety, emotional turbulence, and a feeling of alienation from one’s self and reality. Through its poignant narrative, it reminds listeners that it’s okay to not always understand your emotions, and to experience fear, vulnerability, and confusion, thereby fostering empathy and understanding towards such experiences.